WEEK 9 RECAP

COMMISH NOTES: 

                           First off to all of you doubters out there...The Commish Rules !

Sadly for the Commish this was one of the greatest days of my life - coming in a close second to the birth of the baby Commishes and that one time I found a half eaten bag of Doritos sitting on a bus stop bench. If you'd like to know the scene at the Commish's house when I found out I won Sunday morning here it is...

YOU vs the POOL

WEEKLY WINNER

KING COMMISH

As previously stated above your glorious and all knowing Commish won this week with an outstanding score of 14-6, oh and some guy named Rick Holm lucked out and tied me for the week. The Commish plans to take the $50 in prize money and get some sweet neon ground effects for my '73 Pacer. I would also like to address the small yet vocal contingent of Poolsters that claim there was some sort of cheating or manipulation of the pool by your kind and benevolent Commish. Yes you caught me - this pool has all along been some sort of grand long term master plan over the period of 10 long futile years for the Commish to pocket $50 and win 1 week in the 477 weeks that we've been doing this nonsense. A more brilliant masterful plan has yet to be devised by mankind. Also if any poolsters are in fact planning some sort of investigation into this week's results, here's a picture of my computer, external hard drives, and written pool records from this morning...

And to those of you who think my mother made my picks, I can assure you she did not make all my picks, just 14 of them...

Also I am obligated to mention my CO-champion for the week Rick Holm. Rick is a CU Buff's fan so winning anything comes as a complete surprise and shock to him. He plans to take the $50 and get a complete bikini wax at "Razmik's Waxing and Shwarma Outlet" over in "Little Armenia."

WEEKLY LOSER

Gregg Dohman remains mired in the muck of loserdom and clocked in with a embarrassing week of 4-16. "The Dohmanator" continues to hold the title of biggest dope in the pool and has struggled to reach 63 wins for the year. Gregg plans to use a picking method next week that involves a live chicken, submergence into a vat of tapioca pudding, and transcendental meditation to break free of his self imposed picking dungeon. Look to see Gregg in the cellar for the foreseeable future !

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD

Officially the over all leader is the Auto Pick Underdog Team with 105 wins. And if you check the pool's by laws if one of the Auto Picks lands in the money at the end of the season ALL monetary winnings revert back to the Commish into the "PAC12 Plus Emergency Malt Liquor Fund". I'm sure if that happens there will be much litigation so in the meantime our over all leader remains Rylan Weythman with 104 wins for the year. Currently Rylan is sorting his Pokemon cards and couldn't be reached for comment.

Over all loser (see above)

THE PJA

        MET BO BEBOS ! 

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

OUR PATRON SAINT

WEEK 8 RECAP

COMMISH NOTES: 

Thank God ASU finally got off the schnide and beat this dumb ass thing !

That's the face I'd make too if I knew I was going to the Autozone Liberty Bowl Coach Kelly.

Do you think A&M misses Johnny Football right about now ?

I'm also guessing the Sooners are missing this guy after losing to K-State !

YOU vs the POOL

WEEKLY WINNER

We had a tie for first place this week between pool stalwart Mark Hodgson and Angela Driscoll who each scored a record of 16-4. 

Angela was voted the world's most giving and compassionate person EVER last year ! All because she agreed to marry the most "unmarry-able" person put on God's green earth Terrence "Dr Handsome" Brown. Needless to say a healthy diet of Martinis and Mexican TV TeleNovelas is the only thing that keeps her going.

T and Angela on their wedding day

Hodgy when not terrorizing his students spends most days screaming about fluoride in the drinking water at the abundance of squirrels that call his attic home.

WEEKLY LOSER

John "B A Trojan" Boxley is this week's disgrace clocking in with a miserable 5-15 record. John has had a long and distinguished career in journalism, in fact, he just took a position of Editor in Chief of the El Segundo Thrifty Nickel. He plans to start a weekly column on "Erotic Puppetry" in the coming weeks which I'm sure will be followed by weekly visits by the police.

John attending a USC game

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD

Rylan Weythman maintains his perilous over all lead in the pool but has some stiff competition in the name of the AutoPick "Underdog Team". For a man that sleeps about 20 hours a day and lives off a diet of Frangelica and Grape Nehi this has been an impressive run - which I'm sure will end very soon !

And because it seems everybody wants a piece of the loser pie we have yet a another over all loser this week in Gregg Dohmen who goes by the ultra clever screen name of, wait for it, "Gregg Dohmen". Talk about your Robin Williams-esqe riff ! Gregg has led a life of disappointment, first the cancellation of Alf was a body blow, then deciding to be a Cornhusker fan has left him a shell of a man.

THE PJA

        MET BO BEBOS ! 

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

OUR PATRON SAINT

Week 7 Recap

COMMISH NOTES: 

After last week's amazing run of college football this weekend was a bit more mellow. It never ceases to amaze me how good the Las Vegas bookies can be at setting the lines. 

10th ranked Tucson Tech was a 2.5 home dog to USC and what do you know USC wins by 2 points - I claim sorcery !!!

And it wasn't the greatest weekend for the Old Pueblo, after their loss to the Trojans this picture of Wilbur the Wildcat was released of him in a compromising position with a member of the UofA swim team. Shame on you Wilbur ! 

The Commish after making a last second switch on my picks

YOU vs the POOL

And because I will never get sick of watching this....here it is one more time...

WEEKLY WINNER

This week's winner is Bill Lafave who scored an impressive 17-3 week. Bill goes by the screen name "NYHARD" which is kind of a cute story. Bill I'm told likes to keep very clean so the boys down at Mr Fuzzybottoms Bathhouse he frequents gave him that name after one of his many soapy parties with the fellas. Bill plans to use his $100 in winnings to purchase something called "Astro-lube 3000" which he plans to pass out like candy at the big Halloween bash.

WEEKLY LOSER

Erik Turner is this week's loser with a God awful week of 3-17, I believe this ties the record for worst week ever in the pool. Losing is kind of a life mission for Erik, he's a supporter of the University of Miami - OHIO football program so that's always a lot of fun, he enjoys racing lawnmowers competitively, and when not making horrible picks on college football games he can be found scrapbooking with his grandma. Needless to say he's on a 24 hour suicide watch !

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD

Rylan Weythman somehow is hanging on to the top position in the pool with 88 total wins. I hear Rylan found a new strain of pot up in Berkeley called "Barbara Boxer's Velvet Undies" which he's been using to help make his weekly picks. So once that runs out we can be assured RW's reign as pool leader will come to a thundering close.

We have a new over all loser and he goes by the name of Ray Russell who over the period of 7 weeks has accumulated just 50 wins. According to his E-Harmony profile Ray enjoys napping, "petting hedgehogs", and beer bonging NY-Quil.

THE PJA

        MET BO BEBOS ! 

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

OUR PATRON SAINT

WEEK 6 RECAP

COMMISH NOTES: 

                THIS WILL NEVER GET OLD !!!

FREAKING INCREDIBLE ! (BTW there was never a doubt in the Commish's mind the Devils would win)

If you have no life and were able to sit on the couch all day Saturday, like your Commish, you witnessed one of the greatest days of College Football EVER ! Upsets galore -  Bama, Texas A&M, the Sooners, Wisconsin, and probably not a surprise Michigan lost to Rutgers.

But the biggest shock of the day had to be the Stetson Hatters falling to Butler 49-41 - Sadly the loss coincided with the Commish's annual "Big Game Football Weekend" which I spent in LeLand, Florida home of the Hatters. But it wasn't a total loss...

...I got to spend quality time with Hattie the Stetson U mascot...

...I recieved an honorary degree in Animal Husbandry from the University...

...I bought this sweet Hatters sweatshirt...

...but the weekend ended on a down note, after spending all day Saturday chugging cough medicine I bought in Tijuana and cheap bourbon this thing continues to haunt my dreams !  

OK Oregon you let these 2 beat you at home ? Really ?

But Duckies at least you still have this going for you !

Y'all got nothing on these dudes - Tiger Pimp Nation

YOU vs the POOL

And as a side note Poolsters if you would have just selected "the UNDERDOG TEAM" every week you'd now be sitting in second place over all !

WEEKLY WINNER

Falling into the category of even a blind squirrel finds a lucky nut sometimes is perpetual pool bottom feeder Cat Bellamak who goes from worst to first this week with an improbable yet impressive 16-4 record. I'm told she went with the "Cutest Mascot" or "What Team Color Will Match My Purse" picking technique - hey the results are all that matters sister ! Also Cat's man-wife Shawn wanted me to show you fellow poolsters a picture of Cat -

Cat in better days

- I believe it's a publicity still from her days dancing at "Mr Lucky's Sugar Time Show Lounge" down by the airport. It's really a touching story how the Bellamak's met - Shawn was on one of his 3 week benders and was screaming for Cat to dance to Warrant's "She's my Cherry Pie" for the 23rd straight time, police were called, restraining orders issued, and 20 years later marital bliss. Sadly since that picture was taken Cat has really let her self go from a steady diet of boxed wine and frosting straight from the can. See you back in last place next week darling ! 

Current day Cat

WEEKLY LOSERS

We had a complete Cluster F of picking ineptitude this week. The following 8 dunderheads managed to select just 5 games correctly - Dave "I Hate Sha Na Na" Bowser, Jason "Roll Over Tide" Clay, husband and wife dumdums Kent and Demaris Walton, Matt "Not Random" Kaysar, Terence "Pride of the Palouse" Brown, Dave "I Miss Chip" Stern, Seamus "1am Call Time" Gibbons, and Dan "Not Related to Alex" Karas. Shame on all of you !

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD

Rylan Weythman take over the over all lead with 73 wins, it's a bit surprising this one time Pewter Jack Ass Trophy winner was able to pull this off, but after years of successful competitive "Clown Motor Boat" racing it kinda makes sense.

Ray Russell takes over the bottom of the pool with only 45 wins to his name. Ray is very used to losing, I hear he's the 6 time "4 Putt" champion at Bel Air CC - whatever that is ?

THE PJA

        MET BO BEBOS ! 

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

OUR PATRON SAINT