Welcome 2012 Poolsters

Let the Guessing Begin !  

Poolsters – Welcome to the 2012 Pac12 Plus Pool.

What started out 8 years ago with 24 members has now grown into a behemoth of a pool with friends, friends of friends, people the commish has no clue who they are, and various bus terminal hangers on. I for one can't wait to begin another year of high intensity guessing coupled with complete and utter futility and failure. 

I still can't decide what gave me a bigger sporting chubby this summer -  the Women's Senior Wheelchair Bowling Championships

or watching Olympic Trampolining and the aerial brilliance of China’s Dong Dong (who turned down an invite to the pool btw)

Everyone's Favorite Dong.

I know most of you spent the off season wondering what went wrong with your “system”. The Commish has taken matters into his own hands and has had Mexican psychic Walter Mercado move into our house to make my picks - the kids are a bit creeped out  – but this will be the best $5000 I ever spent !

The Mexican Kreskin

Starting the 2012 season there will be some things I’ll miss – like the side line hijinks of coach Stoops 

We already miss you

and some things I won't miss, namely the Ill prepared dunderheaded buffoonery of Coach Erickson, 

Where's the scotch ?

I’m not sure who was the worst coach, all I do know is one could out crazy Charlie Sheen and the other one could out drink 5 sets of Irish triplets ! 

Hoagie Lover

And a hearty welcome back to coach Weis to the head coaching ranks (Lawrence area rib joints are already rejoicing) and this means the recap will have at least 1 topic a week.

And let’s hope Satan is preparing a special sulfuric acid Jacuzzi for our favorite Nittany Lion !

  

                                                                                                                         

Also sit back JoPa....All Hail king Bobby !

JoPa No Mas

Dadgum Gators !

With All that behind us - Let the Guessing Begin !

At the kick off of the 1st game the pool currently has 126 members and this off-season the Commish tirelessly scoured area trans-gender meeting places and soup kitchens and roped in the following 27 new members. So in order to put a face with a name let's all join together in a golf clap and welcome these ”superstars” into the pool family.

"Uncle Dave"

David Castro goes by the screen name “Uncle Dave”. He can be found most days driving very slowly around area middle schools in his windowless panel van.

Ian Roe, until his arrest last year, was stalking both Abe Vigoda and Honey BooBoo child.

Scott Dumbrowski as a Purdue Boilermaker fan he’s used to soul crushing disappointment – so the pool is a natural fit for him.

The husband and wife team of Deborah and Dave Jackson join us – this should be the final nail in the divorce coffin after Deborah schools her husband !

9 year old Tony Poleo Jr joins the pool. Becoming the pool’s youngest member, joining his Dad in the pool. Hey Pops, along with gambling, have you introduced Jr to cigarettes yet ?

Joe Kubat returns to the pool after a 2 year self imposed exile but guarantees he has perfected the art of complete random guessing and predicts a 73^rd place finish.

Bradley Fisher enjoys what he calls “extreme cuddling” 
...any takers ?

Don Reisinger killed a man for dissing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Greg Fraser enjoys hunting for lizards and dumpster diving.

Ron Krunze is currently engaged to his tea cup poodle named “Shnuzzle”. They plan a June wedding and everyone in the pool is invited !

Steve Chabre joins us again as the oldest living graduate of Gadsen Purchase Community College aka UofA. In all reality Steve thought he was signing up for free government cheese – Sorry no such luck Stevo !

Matt Kaysar, as the self proclaimed world's greatest Ohio State fan, has been conducting a secret love affair with Brutus the Buckeye for the last decade.                

"I wanna buy a personalized license plate"

Somebody who goes by the name Sangkhone Stookey (I'm not making that up) joins the pool. I'm pretty sure the Commish caught a severe case of "Sangkhone" last time I visited the Club Unicornio in Tijuana.

Brit Schabacker, as a Texas Tech alum, has a very special "bond" with area livestock.








Rhonda Walters joins her husband Charlie in the pool. Charlie has been an utter failure since he joined - we expect very similar results from the wife as well !

Carl Filoreto rejoins the pool after a year's absence. He spent all of last season in a Buddhist retreat in Bhutan trying to cleanse his soul from all of his past miserable picks.

Greg Russell (seen here with his Dad Ray) are the 3rd father son duo in the pool joining the Commish and Pops Commish. Greg let me give you a bit of advise  - NEVER ask your dad, I repeat NEVER ask your dad for any pick tips !

Dimitri Hrovat plans to rollerskate into all of our hearts this football season !    












Tony Davis is a triple threat - he loves to sing, dance, and fail at picking the results of college football games.

Jeff "Neck4life" Baker thinks that Hillbilly Handfishin' takes the nobility out of the gentlemanly pursuit of Noodling for catfish ! 








Ryan McCarthy wishes Glee was on 7 nights a week.













Rob Rice misplaced his favorite shopping cart has anybody seen it ?











Darrel Blasi returns from a pool hiatus. He spent the last year as Justin Beiber's "Bath-time Buddy"

Curtis Bova's plan for pool domination include binge drinking, pain medication abuse, and passing out before the kick off of every game.









Damon Gehrke comes from a dangerous group of Gypsies and should be avoided at all costs !

High school junior Luke Filoreto rejoins the pool with his Dad after spending the last year in a gambling rehab clinic...that was money well spent Pops !

POOL RULES 

It’s pretty much the same as every year – But for our CU Buff fans we keep it simple. We pick 20 games each week against the spread (if you’re not sure what the “spread” is you’re a perfect fit for the pool) Most weeks ALL games will be on Saturday – there will be some weeks with games on a Thursday, Friday, or Sunday but you will get plenty of reminders if that happens. You can go back and change any pick right up until the kick off of that game. Also, be sure to set your AUTOPICKS for the year so if you miss a week you’re covered.

POOL PAYOUTS

The payouts for the pool will be taken from the entry fees - with 126 pool members the total entry fees puts us at $6300 - minus the Officefootballpool.com hosting fee (the fee is $30 plus $3 per player over 10)

Weekly Winners: There’s a slight change this season. To try and maintain interest for 90% of the pool that is out of the money by week 2 - this year the winner of each week will now get $100 – if there is more than 1 weekly winner each of that week’s winners will split the $100.

The remaining pool money will be split this way.

1st place……35%

2nd place……25%

3rd place……20%

4th place……12% 

Last place……8%

The over-all loser also receives the prestigious Pewter Jack Ass Trophy.

Shame

(You cannot miss a week of picks and still receive this honored prize)

ALL PAYOUTS WILL BE MADE AT THE END OF THE SEASON

POOL ENTRY FEE 

I need everyone’s $50 entry sent to me by Friday September 17^th – I need to pay Officefootballpool.com their website fee by that week. So if I don’t have your money by that date I have to drop you from the pool (plus you can’t “see how I’m doing” and then pay, it’s not fair to the Poolsters who paid on time).

The Commish has been lenient on late payments in the past – but NO MORE - really I mean it this time.

So send your $50 American Dollars to:

Kevin “the Commish” Watters - 2470 South Jackson Street Denver CO, 80210 

Pool Credits

Some how, last season, several of you actually lucked into winning some money in the pool. The list below is those Poolsters who have a credit…if you don’t see your name that means you owe $50 for the year.

Terence Brown $50

Brandon Carlson $25

Todd Chase $16.66

Ray Daniels $12.50

Todd Fujiwara $12.50

Paul Guzek $5

Rick Holm $50

Ron Lom $25

Wiley McIntire $12.50

Kirk Petre $16.66

Rob Pollock $5

Ed Sipes $12.50

Ernie Slaughter $50

Troy Winkles $5

If you have any questions or complaints please direct them to the chairman of the pool Rules & Ethics Committee – Jerry “The Fighting Silverback” Siegel. 

Also remember that side bets and trash talk is highly encouraged – just go to “Trash Talk” under the pool settings tab and let the mud fly.

And As Always – Good Luck Suckas !

 The Commish 

This pool is proudly sponsored by Bernie Kopell Brand Adult Diapers.

“Keeping America Dry on Land and Sea for over 30 Years"