Week 14 Recap and Pool Payouts

COMMISH NOTES

Well our national nightmare is finally over - our 14 week ordeal of second guessing, blame assessment, and shoe throwing at the TV is now behind us. Just be thankful you don't have to sit next to Nick Saban on the team bus anytime soon.

And Coach Bo here's an idea I think it's time to turn in those dreaded Nebraska Blackshirts for something in like magenta or puce after that 70 point beat down !

WEEKLY WINNER 

Mark Hodgson reared his head from his UnaBomber style shed in the Washingtom back country and guessed 16 correctly in the final week. He plans to take his $100 and complete his manifesto in time for the Xmas season.

WEEKLY LOSER 

The pool's youngest chronic gambler Anthony Poleo Jr  picked a bad week to use the AUTOPICKS feature but that's what he gets for listening to his daddy !

FINAL RESULTS AND POOL PAYOUTS

Here's the listing of pool winners for this season. As you look at this list just know if you would have averaged just 12 wins each week you would have won the pool going away.

In 1^st Place is tequila baron Todd Nelson who won the pool by just one game and will take home  $1557.50 + $25 for winning a week for a grand  total of $1582.50. He plans to take the proceeds and expand his beverage empire and will introduce a mayonnaise and mustard flavored schnapps in the coming months. (Todd if you you want your winning check sometime before 2017 I expect a bottle of Anejo at the Commish's house very soon!)

Mr and Mrs Geyer

In 2^nd  Place is Jayson "Shemp" Geyer  who pockets  $1112.50 + $25 for a total of $1137.50. Jay face it we all know your lovely wife Beth makes all your picks for you

We had a 3 way tie for 3^rd Place (they will split the 3rd and 4th place money) between  Zac Cottingham who gets  $474.66 + $33.33 for a total of $507.99, Pete Thrasher who snuck back into the money after leading the pool for about 9 months gets - $474.66, and Rob Rice gets $474.66 + $125 for a total of

 $599.66. The three of them plan to dine at Taco John's, get a case of Blatz Light, and play Magic the Gathering until their mom tells them "it's a school night, time to go to bed !"

And our ultimate loser, the King of all that Sucks, our last place superstar and the winner of the  prestigious Pewter Jack Ass Trophy is Todd "the Thunder Chicken" Thrall. And shockingly for his ineptitude he gets to pocket  $356.00 ! Life is not fair. My prediction is Todd's intake of Vienna Sausages and Aerosol cheese product will increase significantly once he gets that check ! 

Also the following 26 lucky poolsters won a week or split a week and will receive the following undeserved windfall.

Jeff Baker -  $12.50

Ben Barton - $100

Cam Brown - $33.33

Brandon Carlson - $50

Jack Chesnutt - $20

Bob Cook - $12.50

Zac Cottingham - $33.33

Ray Daniels - $12.50

Steve Delira - $25

Doug Dohman - $25

Brad Fisher - $25

Crawford Flaherty - $33.33

Billy Fowles - $20

Damon Gehrke - $20

Jay Geyer - $25

Warren Heffelfinger - $100

Mark Hodgson - $100

Deborah Jackson - $25

Ron Kunze - $25

Gary McMahon - $12.50

Tom Meinert -  $25

Todd Nelson - $25

Don Reisinger -  $20

Rob Rice - $125

Kris Robinson - $25

Daron Sanders - $50

Billy Schauerman - $12.50

Jerry Siegel - $200

Sangkhone Stookey - $12.50

Ryan Tompkins - $32.50

Rhonda Walters -  $25

Kent Walton - $100

Jim Weiler - $12.50

Rylan Weythman - $25

If you are listed above and won money I need to know a few things from you. Please send me your address to send your winnings and let me know if you want me to deduct $20 for the bowl pool OR apply your winnings as a credit towards next year's pool OR both. Please let me know ASAP before I spend all your money on cheap booze and holiday pies. 

 And for the rest of you that won no money you can rest easy with the deep satisfaction that you wasted 14 weeks of your life guessing on the outcome of highly unpredictable college football games played by 20 year old kids.  Or you can look on the bright side - you made "bets" on 280 football games which works out to about 5.6 cents per game. 

You should have all received an invite to our annual Bowl Pool extravaganza - if not drop the Commish an email and I'll send you an invite. And if you have any other suckas you want in the bowl pool send me their email and I'll invite them too. cause there's no better way to ignore your family this holiday season then by mindlessly yelling at the Beef O'Brady Bowl at the top of your lung.

As Always Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

WEEK 13 RECAP

This pretty much sums up Tucson's performance !

COMMISH NOTES

All is good in the world, the birds are singing sweetly, the Commish has a spring in his step, and the Territorial Cup is where it belongs - all because the Mighty Sun Devils beat the Bastards from down South aka Nogales Tech, aka the Mildcats aka Gadsen Purchase Community College aka The Fighting Ketchup Bottles aka Frontera Welding School aka the Dirty Truck Stop ok you get it !

Waaaaa

Double Waaaaa

DEVILS RULE ARIZONA

Smoke 'em if you got 'em Irish

The last time I saw play calling as bad as Lane Kiffin's during the SC - ND fiasco was when the Harlem Globe Trotters let their team chimp Captain Buckets draw up the "half court head bounce off of Curley's dome dipsy doodle play" versus the Washington Generals. Team Kiffin has got to go !

If any Poolsters are looking for somebody to mow their lawn or clean their gutters I'll forward you Embree, Hope, O'Brien, Spaziani and Chizik's #'s

And because you all tried your very best this season the Commish is thinking of sending each of you one of these because you are all very special.

WEEKLY WINNERS

I'm not sure what's been going on but we have an other log jam for 1st place this week between a foursome of geniuses; Jay "Shemp" Geyer, Ron "the Kunzinator" Kunze, Rhonda "Skyhag" Walters, and Rob "the San Francisco Treat" Rice will split the weekly $100 prize money. This means they can actually buy Xmas presents this year as long as they don't spend the double sawbuck on malt liquor...oops I spoke too soon.








WEEKLY LOSER

One time king of the hill Pete Thrasher is now wallowing in the muck of a weekly last place finish by getting the yips and posting just 4 guesses. The Commish has not seen a collapse like this since the World Trade Centers on 9-11 (Too soon? - screw it this is the last week of the pool anyways)













OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD

As predicted by the Commish,  long time leader Pete Thrasher aka the Jean van de Velde of the pool really shit the bed and fell completely out of the money giving us a new over all leader Todd Nelson. Oz is not only an enabler to all his alcoholic friends and family by supplying them with his fantastic Cruz tequila in the extra fancy bottle -  http://cruztequila.com  (remember Xmas is coming up poolsters) he's also quite the entrepreneur - he's currently the host of a "Self Lubricating Catheter" Info-mercial that can be found on your local Armenian TV channel. Keep plugging along pal !

Well the battle of the nimwits is coming down to the final week - the pool's duo of suckitude Todd Thrall and Ed Sipes are both tied for dead last with just 110 correct guesses - a full 30 games below 500. If I was a betting man I wouldn't bet on either of these shmoes because there are several other poolsters in striking distance of sports greatest prize - the prestigious Pewter Jack Ass Trophy. May the best man win err lose or whatever - and to think last place gets money for their ineptitude !

All Hail the PJA !

GOOD LUCK SUCKERS








THE COMMISH

RIP - CNR

WEEK 12 RECAP

COMMISH NOTES

 After this weekend's drubbing of the hapless Cougs by the just a little less hapless Devils I have officially petitioned the PAC12 to immediately form the PAC3 which will consist of ASU, CU, and Washington State thus ensuring Sun Devil dominance for all ETERNITY !

                 Ducks Loss + Wildcats Loss = Lucky Irish Bastards !

 This pretty much sums up USC's day versus the bRuins this weekend and pretty much predicts the Trojans chances when Notre Dame comes to town on Saturday.

And speaking of the Irish the # 1 Sign was lit up on campus for the first time since Knute Rockne was scaring the coeds in South Bend.

Nogales Tech is going with the all red Unis this friday when they take on the Mighty Sun Devils down south of the border. I guess they just want to cover up all the blood they're gonna be shedding after the beat down from Sparky !

WEEKLY WINNERS

There was another deeply satisfying tie for first place again from 5 unlikely winners. "Old #2" Billy Fowles, Ryan "Tickle Me" Tompkins, Jack "I went to J School with Horace Greeley" Chesnutt, Don "Juan" Reisinger, and winner of the pool screen name of the year Damon "SplatterPants" Gehrke all miraculously guessed 14 correct. This is the first time any of these chuckleheads have won anything since their grandma put the colored egg on the middle of the coffee table and said they won the Easter egg hunt. I'm sure they will all take their $20 in winnings and buy epic portions of grain alcohol and hang out under the bridge like they normally do when they have this kind of windfall.

WEEKLY LOSER

Ed Sipes is this week's moron racking up a minuscule 5 correct guesses. As ASU's most esteemed law school graduate you'd think he'd be a little better at something as intellectual as this pool. If you are in need of an attorney Ed specializes in cases involving over due library books and illegal mattress tag removal crimes, those are really the only cases the Bar or his Mom will let him handle at the moment.

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD

Pete Thrasher continues to defy all the skeptics (which includes his family, friends, and any body who has ever met him) and still leads the pool going into the home stretch. Pete just think how disappointed you'll be when your late season collapse begins this weekend and you end up just one out of the money !

Todd and Ed at Loser-fest 2011

For many a week Todd Thrall was King of all losers but step aside Toddy we have a new schmuck sitting on the throne - Ed Sipes takes over as the over all loser in the pool. This should be an epic battle of the nimwits going down to the wire - ALL HAIL THE PJA !!!!!

Don't forget we have games on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday this week.






Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

WEEK 11 RECAP

COMMISH NOTES

Some bright individual once said the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. well that can also apply to the Commish. The Commish and Commish Jr took the trip out to LA to watch the hapless Devils take on the Trojans and guess what ? Them darn Devils lost again, but you know what it was nice to be able to teach my son, from a very early age, what heartbreak and misery are live and in person - Will I ever learn ?

ROLL TIDE ROLL ! Right out of the BCS Title game that is...but at least you're not this guy having to wash 20 gallons of Crimson paint of your body

or this guy who lost a bet and had to get the BAMA TAMU score tattooed on his right butt cheek (don't ask where I got this but I have my sources)

And it may be time for Tommy Tuberville to switch to decaf....

And finally in the highlight of the WASSOU season check out this Washington State fan doing what they do best - getting blind ass drunk on national TV.

WEEKLY WINNER

This week's winner, defying all logic and common sense, is the pool's version of a cross between a Sasquatch on Rogaine and the Rainman, the one and only Jerry Siegel. When Jar is not picking copious amounts of hair from his shower drain or watching Judge Wapner he is making excellent picks - this week he secured the $100 by guessing 16 picks. Our hirsute Idiot Savant is available for parties where he can tell you what day your birthday was in 1642 or what boot size Corporal Agarn wore on F-Troop. Jerry will be taking his prize money and buying $100 worth of Daisy razors and having a shaving party at his place - all poolsters are invited.


WEEKLY LOSER

The pool's resident Spicoli KB Cooley is this week's big loser selecting a piss poor 4 correct guesses. But I do have to give KB credit, this past week he told me he was going after the most esteemed trophy in all of loserdom the coveted Pewter Jack Ass Trophy, and said "I'm going for last place" and what do you know for the first time in his entire life KB set a goal and achieved it. Well actually there was the one time he vowed to consume the most pot brownies during the national anthem of the ASU NAU game and he did accomplish that, so technically this is his second life goal achieved. So KB with continued hard work and lame picks we all know the PJA can be yours because if anybody can succeed at being a miserable failure its you pal !


OVERALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD

Pete Thrasher continues to pull away from the field and has an impressive 6 pick lead over the second place poolster. I know with just 4 weeks to go and Pete's weekly Gas Huffing regimen he's going to be hard to beat. But Pete remember, every poolster - to a man - is rooting against you !

Todd Thrall continues to suck ass and remains in dead last. There are a few poolsters in striking distance but Todd has such a firm grasp on being a loser he will be hard to catch in the remaining weeks. Also if you are curious on how Todd lives and makes his weekly picks just picture the "Sister Christian" scene from Boogie Nights and it'll give you a pretty good idea of the Thunder Chicken's lifestyle.













Look for week 12 games sometime later today - the Commish has a mani-pedi and kelp body rub scheduled for this morning so the pool must wait !

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish