Pac12 Plus Pool Blog: Week 9 Recap

COMMISH NOTES:

We are now well past the half way point in our glorious pool and over the last several weeks the Commish has been keeping some very interesting stats on you poolsters. If you're wondering how I compiled these stats, pretty much what you might expect, the Commish dug thru your garbage, bugged your house, and scoured your internet browser history (gross btw)

There have been 123,455 re-picks - that is a poolster made their pick and went back and changed the pick 1 minute before kick off - number of times that re-pick was correct - ZERO

Here are the top 3 phrases used by you poolsters and the # of times that phrase has been used so far this season.

"You F*ckers F*cking suck you miserable F*cks" - 1.7 million times
"SON OF A WHORE !!!" 2.6 million times (322,387 by the Commish alone)
"SUCK IT CLEMSON" 23.4 million times

Number of beer bottles thrown thru flat screen TV's - 823

Gallons of grain alcohol consumed - 17,223 (Ray Scott alone accounts for 11,223 gallons)

Percentage of poolsters that declared they are quitting the God Damn pool - 100%

Number of Rose Bowl appearances by Nogales Tech - ZERO

Not even worth mentioning anymore !

WEEKLY WINNER:

Mark Murrietta continues his poolwide dominance and tallied his second weekly win for the year with an impressive 17 wins. Mark plans to use his $100 in weekly winnings and open a series of back shaving kiosks in "Little Armenia". He's currently looking for employees to man these guaranteed money makers, so send Mark your resume c/o the Greater Phoenix Mental Health Coalition.

WEEKLY LOSER:

Ultimate loser Dave Hostettler has lost an other week with a pitiful display with just 5 wins. This is Dave's 2nd over all loss on the year - he told the commish he plans to stay in his basement pillow fort until the rest of us poolsters play fair and let him win a week.

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD:

Mark Murrietta and Bill Fulton are now tied for 1st place over all and will continue to reign over us mere mortals until Zeus, Buddha, and Jesus command them to destroy the world !

Clayton Oldham is sinking faster than Louie Anderson holding an anvil and remains in dead last. His lameness knows no bounds and quite frankly the Commish is ashamed to even type out his name on a weekly basis but by law I must point out the flaws of all participating poolsters. My apologies.