WEEK 5 RECAP and POOL PAYOUTS

COMMISH NOTES: 

Nice job Sun Devils - aka the Sad Clowns of the Desert - somehow you managed to make the Bruins look like the 1985 Chicago Bears - I think UCLA just scored 1 more TD to make it an even 100. ASU was so impressive the folks who ran the Beef O'Brady Bowl have decided to start up the bowl again in your honor.

OK if you do not want your head to literally explode stop reading this post now - The latest news out of Lawrence, Kansas is that everybody's favorite coach with the "schematic advantage" to the buffet at the Golden Corral - Charlie Weis - has been fired by the Jayhawks but will still make $4.6 million this season with his buyouts from KU and Notre Dame. That means that tub of goo gets paid to live every poolsters dream of sitting on the couch to eat pudding and watch football. Please kill me. But that also means there's an opening for the Commish's favorite portly play caller - come back Mangino come back !!!

Is there another Harbaugh brother to come in and save Michigan ?

By far the best tackle of the weekend !

                 

POOL PAYOUTS

Here's how the 2014 Pool Payouts workout. We ended up with 160 Poolsters (a new record) which comes to $8000 in total entry fees. Minus out the website hosting fee of $500 then minus the weekly pot of $1500 (15 weeks x $100) which leaves us with $6000 in total pool payouts. So the lucky winners will receive the following amounts:
1st place (35%) $2100
2nd place (25%) $1500
3rd place (20%) $1200
4th place (12%) $720
Last place (8%) $480 plus the most distinguished trophy in all of organized gambling - the prestigious Pewter Jack Ass. (soon to be renamed the Dan Clements Memorial Trophy)

YOU vs the POOL

WEEKLY WINNER

This week's winner is Steve Smith, if that's even his real name, who notched a record of 15-5. Steve currently lives in a studio apartment with his 2 kitties, Chairman Meow and Miss Mittens who he performed a marriage ceremony for in front of the stunned postman. He plans to use his $100 in weekly winnings and take the cats on a honeymoon to the Motel 6 in Kingman, Arizona.

WEEKLY LOSER

Dan the Man

We had a 2 way tie for last this weekend between Dan Clements and Tito "the Schlongest Yard" Lopez (in the running for best pool screen name BTW) who each notched just 5 miserable wins. They will both receive exactly nothing for their shameful performance except the scorn and ridicule from their family and friends until the day they die sleeping in a storm drain down by the river.

The Schlongest Yard

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD

The Stookster

As predicted long time pool leader Sangkhone Ebenezer Tiberius Ubergrupenfuhrer Stookey has started her nose dive into pool mediocrity. Taking over the lead is cat lover Steve Smith with 60 big wins - his lead, I'm sure, will be short lived as well.

"Big Smitty"

The Cat

Still holding a vice like grip on last place, not unlike Charlie Weis' hold on the platter of "Riblettes" at Applebee's during happy hour is Cat Bellamak finishing week 5 with just 33 wins to her name. Her track record of bad decision making comes as no surprise, after all she did marry longtime pool dummy Shawn Bellamak of her own free will.

The Bellamak's in Happier Days

THE PJA

        MET BO BEBOS ! 

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

OUR PATRON SAINT