WEEK 5 RECAP and POOL PAYOUTS

COMMISH NOTES: 

Nice job Sun Devils - aka the Sad Clowns of the Desert - somehow you managed to make the Bruins look like the 1985 Chicago Bears - I think UCLA just scored 1 more TD to make it an even 100. ASU was so impressive the folks who ran the Beef O'Brady Bowl have decided to start up the bowl again in your honor.

OK if you do not want your head to literally explode stop reading this post now - The latest news out of Lawrence, Kansas is that everybody's favorite coach with the "schematic advantage" to the buffet at the Golden Corral - Charlie Weis - has been fired by the Jayhawks but will still make $4.6 million this season with his buyouts from KU and Notre Dame. That means that tub of goo gets paid to live every poolsters dream of sitting on the couch to eat pudding and watch football. Please kill me. But that also means there's an opening for the Commish's favorite portly play caller - come back Mangino come back !!!

Is there another Harbaugh brother to come in and save Michigan ?

By far the best tackle of the weekend !

                 

POOL PAYOUTS

Here's how the 2014 Pool Payouts workout. We ended up with 160 Poolsters (a new record) which comes to $8000 in total entry fees. Minus out the website hosting fee of $500 then minus the weekly pot of $1500 (15 weeks x $100) which leaves us with $6000 in total pool payouts. So the lucky winners will receive the following amounts:
1st place (35%) $2100
2nd place (25%) $1500
3rd place (20%) $1200
4th place (12%) $720
Last place (8%) $480 plus the most distinguished trophy in all of organized gambling - the prestigious Pewter Jack Ass. (soon to be renamed the Dan Clements Memorial Trophy)

YOU vs the POOL

WEEKLY WINNER

This week's winner is Steve Smith, if that's even his real name, who notched a record of 15-5. Steve currently lives in a studio apartment with his 2 kitties, Chairman Meow and Miss Mittens who he performed a marriage ceremony for in front of the stunned postman. He plans to use his $100 in weekly winnings and take the cats on a honeymoon to the Motel 6 in Kingman, Arizona.

WEEKLY LOSER

Dan the Man

We had a 2 way tie for last this weekend between Dan Clements and Tito "the Schlongest Yard" Lopez (in the running for best pool screen name BTW) who each notched just 5 miserable wins. They will both receive exactly nothing for their shameful performance except the scorn and ridicule from their family and friends until the day they die sleeping in a storm drain down by the river.

The Schlongest Yard

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD

The Stookster

As predicted long time pool leader Sangkhone Ebenezer Tiberius Ubergrupenfuhrer Stookey has started her nose dive into pool mediocrity. Taking over the lead is cat lover Steve Smith with 60 big wins - his lead, I'm sure, will be short lived as well.

"Big Smitty"

The Cat

Still holding a vice like grip on last place, not unlike Charlie Weis' hold on the platter of "Riblettes" at Applebee's during happy hour is Cat Bellamak finishing week 5 with just 33 wins to her name. Her track record of bad decision making comes as no surprise, after all she did marry longtime pool dummy Shawn Bellamak of her own free will.

The Bellamak's in Happier Days

THE PJA

        MET BO BEBOS ! 

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

OUR PATRON SAINT

WEEK 4 RECAP

COMMISH NOTES: 

Many teams struggled Saturday V-Tech, Mizzou, Big Blue but I think the worst performance had to be by LSU.

SAUXD TIGAHS

The only thing LSU managed to win on Saturday was the Poodle Shaving contest - and sadly that's not a double entendre. 

Everyone's favorite University from south of the border was flaunting their brain power again - the Gadsen Purchase Community College Spelling All Stars struggled a bit with a word you'd think they'd know how to spell by their senior year of matriculating. Oh well it was 4 letters long - usually when I think of UofA there's many other 4 letter words that come to mind. And there's one other 4 letter word that comes to mind after their game on Saturday and it's LUCK !!!!!!

YOU vs the POOL

WEEKLY WINNER

We had a 4 way tie this week between Todd Jennison, Dave Kent, Don Reisinger, and Chase Vendl who each had a bone chilling record of 16-4. They'll each pocket the life altering sum of $25, which for them means 3 nights in Laughlin, 2 trips to the Terrible Herbst Buffet, and a 15 minute session at the Moonlight Pigeon Ranch with Lady Marmalade (seen below) 

WEEKLY LOSER

Really no shock here, Kris Robinson is the dregs of the pool this week coming home with a beyond embarrassing record of 5-15. Kris is also confused by escalators, NASCAR, and pudding. 

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD   

                   

Well the ladies continue to dominate the pool on both ends of the spectrum. With an impressive record of 52-28 Sangkhone Stookey - who informs the Commish that she now goes by her married name of Sangkhone Aschenbrenner...Gesunheit ! I guess that name combo seems much simpler, I suppose Shicklegruber was already taken (look it up)

And continuing her "March of Complete Suckitude" is Cat Bellamak with just 24 measly wins to her name over the first 4 weeks. The Commish had to go way back in the pool record books to find somebody with an equally lame pool start and the only one I could find was a learning disabled Globus monkey named Mr Cheeky that we let in the pool back in 1973 as a lark.

It will be nice to have a female name on the PJA at the end of the season.

    The PJA

MET BO BEBOS ! 

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

Our Patron Saint

WEEK 3 RECAP

COMMISH NOTES:

The Commish is calling an early season "Shenanigans" with the 1st and 2nd place finishes by 2 Cornhuskers - "AZ Husker" and "Colo Husker". The last time there was a one two finish by 2 Bugeaters in any event was the "Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel Look and Sound Alike Contest" down at the local Black Eyed Pea ! The Commish's Blue Ribbon Panel to investigate this obvious website error begins Tuesday on Capital Hill.

Several teams laid gigantic eggs this past weekend. Virginia Tech ruined the beginning of most everyone's pool day...

A Poolster preparing to kill HokieBird

Iowa once again faltered vs lil bro Iowa State...

                     

I guess USC is NOT the real deal and fell asleep against a very mediocre Boston College squad...

Miss me ?

 And to nobody's surprise ASU continues to OWN the state of Colorado and put a hurting on Ralphie - The Commish and all the little Commisioners attended the game and had a grand old time.

The Jr Commish with current ASU Rhodes Scholars

All was well in Boulder until poolster Doug Manzler learned we were out of rum and made this face the rest of the night...

                                       YOU vs the POOL

WEEKLY WINNER:

Tony "AZ Husker" Poleo is this week's inexplicably lucky winner miraculously posting a 16-4 record. Tony is the current president of the Phoenix Area Auto Erotic Asphyxiation Support Group. He plans to take his $100 winnings and buy a David Carradine Kung Fu poster and some INXS cd's.

WEEKLY LOSERS:

We had a 4 way dog pile of losers this week between Guy Graham, to nobody's surprise Cat Bellamak, Zac Cottingham, and Troy "Mr Sparkles" Winkles who each posted the embarrassing weekly tally of 4-16. If you'd like to meet these 4 master prognosticators they can be found behind the Jack in the Box in Branson, Missouri performing the play Fiddler on the Roof with sock puppets.

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD:

Sangkhone Stookey continues her pool dominance posting an over all record of  39-21. If she wins the pool at season's end she plans to take the money and sue her parents for giving her that name ! (I do hope she falls from 1st place because I've run out of jokes about her name)

For the second week in a row we find Cat Bellamak sitting in the pool's gutter wallowing with a terrible record of 17-43. Cat your husband Shawn told me it's time for you to get back in the kitchen, do the dishes and make him a delicious sandwich and leave the football pickin' to the menfolk.

The PJA

Almost all of the checks have cleared so I should have the grand totals of the pool payouts later this week. Stay tuned.

MET BO BEBOS ! 

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

Our Patron Saint