WEEK 5 RECAP

COMMISH NOTES: It was the perfect trifecta of football this weekend - both Notre Dame AND Nogales Tech lost and the Mighty Sun Devils crushed the Trojans 62 to 41 (not exactly a defensive struggle but I'll take it) PLUS the Condoms fired their lame brain coach in the airport parking lot after the game - Bonus !

Having a bad day Laney ?

I think coach Kelly handles losses pretty well...

Even when Tucson loses Rich Rod still has a beautiful smile...

The only sore spot for the commish was even after getting a remarkable, for me, 15 correct picks this weekend I still tied for second place, Dear Lord will I ever win anything besides that giant inflatable banana at the fair from last summer ?

And did anybody watch Stanford dismantling Wazzou on Saturday ? The president of Washington State University was in attendance and seemed to be enjoying the available concessions.

And finally just because I miss Coach Mangino lumbering along the sidelines every weekend here's his pic.

WEEKLY WINNER We had a 2 way tie for 1st this weekend between Colin "the Panty Dropper" Fisher and Dan Karas (no relation to small black child lover Alex Karras I'm told) Both finished the week with an impressive 16 win total. I'm pretty sure they cheated.

When he's not fighting crime Colin is hosting hot tub parties with area cub scout troops. He plans to use his $50 in weekly winnings to buy some new neon Dolphin shorts.

Dan will probably not hear of his victory for months, he's been holed up in his underground bunker worried that aliens are coming to steal his collection of My Little Pony figurines.

WEEKLY LOSER: This week's loser is Tom "I miss Charlie Weis" Meinert who clocked in with a pathetic 5 correct guesses. Tom's a huge Notre Dame fan and to say he's a tad bitter about the Fighting Irish would be like saying the French like to surrender just a bit. I get to hang out this weekend with Tom at the ASU Notre Dame game in Dallas and I'm looking forward to 2 full days of weeping, bitching and moaning, and eventual bed wetting (and that's by me imagine his attitude when the Devils beat the Irish!) 
Good times indeed.

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEADS: 

Our over all leader in the pool is Tony Poleo with 63 big wins: when he's not posting pictures of himself on Facebook wearing Speedos and thongs he's getting homo-erotic pink tattoos of Herbie the Husker placed all over his body.

And in dead last is one time pool stalwart Ernie Slaughter who falls behind the pool leader by 26 picks in only 5 weeks. Ernie tells me he will consume nothing but Skittles and Malt Liquor from Bulgaria until he regains the lead. Good luck with that pal.

POOL PAYOUTS: We ended up with 134 paying poolsters for the year (there's one follicly challenged member who lives south of the border who promised to hand me the $50 in cash at the Notre Dame game next weekend and if he doesn't some friends of mine from Nuevo Laredo will be visiting him very soon) 

But I digress, that makes this year's pool of money a whopping $6700 ! Once you minus out the pool hosting fee of $412 and the weekly winners share of $1400 that leaves $4888 in total year end payouts that will be split at the end of the season thusly:
1st place - 35% - $1710.80
2nd place - 25% - $1222
3rd place - 20% - $977.60
4th place - 12% - $586.56
Last place - 8% - $391.04 (Along with the coveted Pewter Jack Ass Trophy)

Look for week 6 games to be posted later today or Tuesday morning

Good Luck Suckas

WEEK 4 RECAP

COMMISH NOTES

Well ASU looked great this weekend versus Stanford....too bad it was only in the second half playing against the Trees third string. Can you say Las Vegas Bowl ?

And did you hear about Florida International University asking for a running clock against Louisville this weekend in their 72-0 loss ? I thought running clocks were only used in 6 year old girls soccer games.

And ummm Texas it's only Kansas State not the 72 Dolphins

And a message to all the deadbeat tardy entry fee poolsters...the web admin is still working on re-setting your season totals...I will not cash any of your checks until he gets it right.

WEEKLY WINNER: House husband Dave Hostettler is this week's winner with an amazing 16 wins. Dave spends most of his days saying "yes dear, no dear, I'll fetch the Ben Gay dear" to fellow poolster Lisa Lesley,  seen together here on what they call one of their "Swinger Adventure Holidays" 

Dave plans to use the $100 weekly winnings to buy some new bondage gear.

WEEKLY LOSERS: There's a 4 way tie in suckitude this week between these pitiful losers - Beth Geyer, Crawford Flaherty, Chris Coleman, and Dan Clements Jr. They are all ASU alumni or have ties to a Sun Devil so their performance comes as no surprise.

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEADS: 

Our over all leader this week is Kenny Drop, who pulls ahead by 3 big wins. Kenny is a newlywed so getting some steady loving by his new bride must be helping his picking process, but I predict that well will dry up before the end of the season and so will his wins !
Am I right fellas or what ?!?!? Heyooooo !!!!





There's a 2 way tie for last between Jason Mizak and Ernie Slaughter. 

Jason's screen name is Mizery112 so he must be pretty used to this bottom feeding existence, Jason says he plans to spend the next week in a sweat lodge to get his mind strong and power his way back up to 129th place.














The big surprise is Slaughterdog being in dead last, he's a former pool winner and a usual a top finisher, I guess his years of internet porn addiction and prescription pain medication abuse have finally back fired. Ernie says he will continue with his methods and the ship will right it's self. Good luck with that.

Look for week 5 games to be posted later today or Tuesday morning or whenever I damn well feel like it.




Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

WEEK 3 RECAP

COMMISH NOTES

Some of you may have been wondering what happened to the Commish and where's that pointless recap he does each week. Well as usual it's easier for me to tell you via pictures. So here's my mud and muck covered week covering the Colorado floods.

Here's the Commish wondering why I signed up for this gig

Here I am crossing the street in Boulder to get to the Starbucks

And finally here I am rushing home to watch the ASU Wisconsin game last Saturday

And I don't know about you but I saw no fault in the officiating at the end of the ASU - Wisconsin game...the mighty Devils won the game fair and square.

Bo Pellini continues his charm offensive - at this rate he'll be doing commentary on public access TV in Guam - GO BIG PINK !

WEEKLY WINNER:

We have a solo winner in week 3, Mike "Griffdog" Griffin lucked out with 15 big wins. These were some of the best decisions Mike has made in quite sometime. Griffdog not only crushes tail all over the metro Denver area he has a long list of accomplishments to brag about...he was voted most likely to fall for a tranny prostitute in Vegas, he was roast beef slicer of the week 6 straight times at his job at Arby's, and has the largest collection of porcelain clowns in all of colorado.








WEEKLY LOSERS: We have a duo of losers for week 3, Bruce Penning and Dave Kent, each managed to guess just 5 correct this week.

It's no surprise about Bruce he has a long and illustrious career of being a loser, he wears the crown as a Pewter Jack Ass trophy winner with great pride, other than the time he found a half eaten hot dog in the dumpster at 7-11, it's the highlight of his sad life.

Dave is a USC Trojan and is currently under house arrest after trying to run over Lane Kiffin in the Colosseum parking after their loss to Wazzou. Don't worry Dave you were doing God's work.








LEADERS AND LUNKHEADS:

We have a 2 way tie for first between Craig Edmonston and Kenny Drop, we all know the pressure will be too much for these 2, so my advice to you is to start drinking heavily and switch your picks just before you black out !

And in last place is Deborah Jackson. Fellas I think we all can agree that a football pool is no place for a woman, this is mans work. Deb I suggest you get back in the kitchen and make some delicious nachos for your husband while you're vacuuming and doing the dishes !

To the deadbeats that I put on the bench for not paying on time, the web admin is trying to re-install your season records, at this point I'm not sure if he can. If he can't I'll have to drop you from the pool. You have nobody to blame but yourselves for not paying on time !

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

FORK YOU MARK MAY !

WEEK 2 RECAP

Actual Highlights of the Sacramento St - ASU game

COMMISH NOTES

Well the Commish's "March of Mediocrity" (patent pending) continues after posting a lame 9 wins this week, with that,  my slide into a season long 84th place is firmly established. The only bright spot was ASU's demolishing of the highly under-rated Sacramento State Hornets on Thursday night 55-0, but of course I was too stupid to put that one in the pool !

I don't know about you but, other than the fact that the Irish lost, the best part of the Michigan Notre Dame game had to be the encounter between Musburger and Eminem - WTF !

A special hats off to the Texas Longhorns for getting their asses handed to them by the Fighting Mormon Missionaries yesterday. Poolsters if you have time please go visit poolster and UT alum John Jourde in the hospital, he sadly tried to take his own life by eating a 25 pound cheese log and downing a gallon of Frangelico after the loss.

And in attempt to have all the USC fans reading this post punch their computer screen at once I'm going to say 1 word.......KIFFIN !

OK Trojans raise your hand if you want the Lanester fired !

And finally if you'd like to know what images haunt the Commish's dreams, it's these 2 CU Buff fans wandering the streets of Boulder.

WEEKLY WINNERS - We had a 3 way tie for first this week between Tom Sharp, Wiley McIntire, and Craig Edmonston each correctly guessing 14 picks.

They will each split the $100 weekly purse thus doubling their yearly earnings. Tom plans to invest his money on one more profile on "J" Date. Wiley is saving his money up for something called a "Tumbleweed Combine" because that's all that will grow in whatever part of God forsaken Texas he lives in ! And Craig, as a practicing attorney, will take his money and sue all the orphanages in his his area because " they're bringing down my GD property values, the little bastards ! "

WEEKLY LOSER - Mark Sanchez takes home last place this week managing to pick just 5 wins. After hearing of his weekly loss Mark's boss at "Hot Dog on a Stick" at the mall demoted him to lemon rind garbage detail but his other boss at the carnival promoted him to assistant "Tilt-a-Whirl" safety inspector.

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD - Kenny Drop and Pete Thrasher are tied for 1st with 27 big wins, we all know this won't last. I'm sure they'll both drink the week away and forget to make any picks at all in week 3.

And sitting alone in last place is Jason Mizak, which really isn't fair seeing he joined the pool after week one and only received the pool low 4 wins for the 1st week. This doesn't mean Jason isn't deserving of last place status because all sources indicate he's a tremendous loser.

POOL PAYMENT

Poolsters the deadline for your entry fees is fast approaching - it's Friday September 13th if you didn't notice the 13,685 reminder notices I've sent to date. So far 82 of you have paid up but that leaves 56 deadbeats still remaining...so stop reading this get your checkbook, raid grandma's piggybank, or simply rob your local convenience store and send the $50 entry fee to: Kevin "the Commish" Watters 2470 South Jackson Street Denver CO 80210.

Remember don't be late with your entry fee or I'm sending this UofA cheerleader to your house to "snuggle" the fee out of you.

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish