WEEK 5 RECAP

                            COMMISH NOTES

As we complete week 5 of the pool I know many of you are already sick and tired of the pool but take heart there are only 42 weeks to go ! Also several of you have expressed your interest in, and I quote " getting the F#CK  out of thIs G%D D*MN MOTHER F*CKING PIECE OF SH%T POOL" Remember any of you can leave the pool for the small exit fee of $250. 

And If any of you poolsters are looking to be cheered up after yet another miserable week of picks fellow poolsters Ray Scott and Shawn Belamak have volunteered to come to your home to perform their patented "Hug Therapy" free of charge. I promise you will never be the same.

Nice basketball game in Morgantown - West Virginia 70 Baylor 63 - way to step up the D boys !

Does this poster make you want to go to an Akron Zips game or directly to your nearest Country Buffet ?

And who says the BYU folks don't know how to tailgate ? I wanna party with this dude !

The Beavers pounded the Pussies of Nogales Tech this weekend in Tucson (please insert your own tasteless joke here)

The mighty Sun Devils improved to 4 & 1 after deflating the Peoples Republic of Berkeley. This sets ASU up perfectly to make it into the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl.

And to prove that THE Arizona State University is on the cutting edge of technology and science here's some ASU scholars perfecting the "Infant Keg Stand" - professors are also working on an in utero beer bong - stay tuned.

The Commish's workstation

And if you read this recap, do me a favor and post a comment to let me know that people are actually wasting a portion of their day by reading this nonsense. As long as I have 1 reader I will continue to ramble on (just click "post a comment" at the bottom of the recap)

WEEKLY WINNERS

Brandon Carlson and Daron Sanders are this week's winners with 14 correct guesses. Coincidentally they both had their ventriloquist puppets pick their games this week. They plan to spend their $50 in winnings on new mankinis for said puppets.

WEEKLY LOSERS

There are 2 losers this week. the pride of UofA's Animal Husbandry College Bruce Edmonston managed to guess just 5 games correctly, it was a doubly sad weekend, not only did his kitty cats fall to Oregon State but Bruce was unable to make any new "friends" at his favorite Bakersfield rest stop bathroom - better lick er luck next week Brucey !

 

Greg Fraser also sucked this week with only 5 correct stabs in the dark, Greg's pool name is "G-COCK" so I think we all know what's on his mind instead of football.

OVERALL LEADER AND LUNKHEADS 

Defying all logic and common sense Kris Robinson remains the pool leader with a whopping 59 wins - you can find Kris most days selling orange peels and used Kleenex door to door.

Making complete sense to all that know him Todd Fujiwara is in dead last in the pool with a shameful tally of just 37 wins to date. Todd says he's been concentrating on finishing his book of Haikus dedicated to the memory of Charles Nelson Reilly.

As usual look for week 6 lines to be posted sometime on Monday.

GOOD LUCK SUCKAS

THE COMMISH

WEEK 4 RECAP

          
     COMMISH NOTES 

The theme this week is miracles both on the gridiron and in the pool.

This just in - Oregon just scored again on Arizona.

Can we hear the chants from Boulder ? "WE'RE NUMBER ELEVEN - WE'RE NUMBER ELEVEN" The mighty Buffs shocked the world by knocking off the hapless Wassou Cougars in Pullman. The CU student body immediately stormed an empty Folsom Field after the game. 

Our old buddy Coach Stoops is still up to his wacky sideline shenanigans at Oklahoma - his vaunted defensive attack lost to K State at home btw.

I think Wisconsin has become my new Clemson this year - the Cheeseheads had the game won and covered the bet only to let UNLV score a meaningless last minute TD. Bucky you are dead to me.

The mighty Devils continue their home dominance by beating down the Utes - year after year I've come to enjoy the slow build up of hope and promise only to be crushed by mind numbing disappointment and heartbreak by season's end - prove me wrong boys !


And just because...

WEEKLY WINNER

In this season's biggest WTF moment Jerry Siegel somehow someway won this week with 15 correct guesses. I've made several calls to the pool website admins to make sure there's not a bug in the system. Jerry spent most of his early adulthood as the personal sponge-bath attendant to Screech from "Saved by the Bell" Jerry still considers that time the "most sexually fulfilling days of his life."

WEEKLY LOSERS

We have 2 losers this week who each pathetically came up with only 5 wins. The pool's most senior member Roger Van Rammen who is currently on life support at an assisted living facility in Mexicali. Roger believes the pool is some sort of system to keep the Micks and Chinamen out of the country.

Clayton Oldham is a Kansas alum which explains his bad choices in life and in the pool. Currently he is the leader of a small cult that worships KU coach Charlie Weis as a God like entity. The cult currently has one member.

OVERALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD 

And in what many Biblical scholars believe to be the 5th sign of the impending apocalypse Kris Robinson is now our current over all pool leader with 48 wins. Kris is currently drunkenly stumbling around Italy and was last seen being detained by the Swiss Guards at the Vatican after looking to "score some weed from that Pope dude"

John Buck continues his slide into the abyss of suckitude accumulating to date just 29 wins. There was a Gallup poll conducted this week ranking the world's most pathetic people and John ranked below both "The Situation" and "Octomom" John I think you're safe to start building that custom display case for the world's most prestigious trophy - The Pewter Jack Ass is yours to lose pal !

Look for week 5 lines sometime on Monday. Also I will have all the payouts calculated sometime this week so we will all know who gets what for the year.

Good Luck Suckas

the Commish

WEEK 3 RECAP

                               COMMISH NOTES

Well the commish tried to give a poolside freebie to everyone with the Bama Arkansas game spread being backwards, the Tide got 16.5 points. Even with that generosity and obvious F up 6 poolsters astonishingly still took the Hogs - Suckas. 

Well Buffs not only does the PAC12 want you out of the conference word is that the NCAA is thinking of kicking you out of college football. CU athletic department officials are scrambling to find a new home but the problem is no Denver area Pop Warner league will take the them either !

ASU is back to their old ways and found a new way to lose on the road. Hey coach G let's stick with 1 QB going forward. 

Meinert's a Happy Boy

And on a bitter note the commish lost a side bet to poolster and Mizzou alum Tom Meinert for a bottle of his favorite booze - 

Tom look for that bottle of MD 20-20 Orange Banana wine to arrive sometime later this week !

                               WEEKLY WINNER

Ben Barton is the sole winner this week with 16 big wins. Ben is probably the most degenerate gambler in the pool. He currently lives out of the back of his AMC Pacer at the gray-hound track in Limon, Colorado selling half eaten churros to track regulars. Sadly he plans to spend his $100 on a 75 team parlay card betting on girls high school field hockey. 

                                                          WEEKLY LOSER

Long time loser Todd Fujiwara came up with just 5 guesses this week. Todd blames his bad choices on his commitment to his job as Spiderman in front of the Chinese theater on Hollywood Blvd. Todd gets nothing for his loss except for a steeper decline into massive clinical depression. 

"I'm a winner"

And Todd if you play your cards right you just might join the likes of 2010 PJA "Winner" Dan Clements who was nice enough to send the Commish a picture of himself and the world's most prestigious trophy just before his weekly meeting with his parole officer - Thanks Dano !





OVERALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD

Rob Rice maintains his lead with 38 wins but it's narrowed to just a margin of 2. Rob says his lack of focus this week can be attributed to working on his 12 sided dice practice going into the Dungeon and Dragons World Championships later this month. Good luck to our favorite level 8 Paladin !

The 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers of our pool John Buck maintains his vice like grip on pool loserdom. Pathetically over the span of 3 weeks Buckster has guessed correctly just 17 times. President Obama plans to revoke John's citizenship later this week. 

Artist rendering

And on a side note the Pool executive board broke ground today on the PAC12 Plus Pool Hall of Fame in Quartzsite, Arizona. The facility is made possible by a generous donation from the "Binge Drinkers Society of America" expect the Hall to be open some time in 2052.





                              POOL PAYMENTS

Sadly there are 13 Poolsters who have not paid their entry fee for the year - You know who you are - some of you have said the "check is in the mail" and various other excuses but now if I don't have your check in hand by this Friday 9/21 I will have to drop you from the pool because I seriously have to pay officefootballpool.com the pool hosting fee on Saturday and I do not want to pay for any deadbeats - You have been WARNED.
And for the 27 thousandth time here's where you send the money (and drop me an email letting me know you sent the $)
Kevin "the Commish" Watters 2470 South Jackson Street Denver CO, 80210

Week 4 lines should be posted sometime on Monday.

Good Luck Suckas !




The Commish