Week 15 RECAP and Final Payouts

COMMISH NOTES: 

Our yearly soul crushing exercise of futility and guessing has finally and mercifully come to an end. What did we learn ? Not much really other than that a select few of us absolutely suck at picking the outcome of college football games, and that the bookies who pick the point spreads are evil geniuses in a pact with Satan, or that many of us may have a serious drinking problem. That being said I can't wait for the first of 47 bowl games to start on Saturday. So if you are a glutton for punishment sign up for the Pac12 Plus Bowl Pool - just click this link and you're in  http://www.officefootballpool.com/pools.cfm?poolid=54177&p=2&pwd=sundevils

Also again you are all so welcome it was my pleasure to include Sam Houston State in the selections for the last week of the pool !

YOU vs the POOL

WEEKLY WINNERS

This week with just the 3 games to choose from we had a total of 46 weekly winners, which sadly for many of you counts as your greatest achievement ever ! So instead of sending each of you an enormous check for $2.17 the commish will donate the weekly $100 to my local Salvation Army Christmas donation pot. I know there are a few cynical bastards in our pool, like the mean hearted AZHUSKER, who think the Commish will pocket the $100 and spend it on malt liquor or something else delicious - well I can assure you if I don't donate the $100 may the ASU Sun Devils be relegated to some awful bowl game like the Cactus Bowl, oh wait that's already happened...

WEEKLY LOSER

And because of said 3 game selection we had 21 poolsters that scored a big ZERO for the week but I'm sure this group didn't need the pool to remind them what a bunch of losers they were.

POOL PAYOUTS AND PJA WINNERS

Drum roll please...here's how the yearly payouts worked out...these lucky bastards will be getting an early Christmas present.

1st place Dallas Drake - $2024.75 + $50 = $2074.75
Dallas plans to spend his winnings on a tanning bed and then display his "hotbod" to all the GILF's down at the retirement village.

2nd place Dave Jackson - $1446.25
Dave plans to spend his winnings on a cross country trek with his miniature pony "Pudgy" and teach children the true meaning of Christmas.

3rd place Lisa Lesley - $1157 + $100 = $1257
Lisa plans to spend all of her winnings on one word FUDGE !

4th place Dean Jackson - $694.20
Dean plans to spend his winnings and take his mustache on a romantic vacation to Sandals in Jamaica.

Last place Ernie Slaughter and Mark Hodgson - $231.40 each
Ernie and Hodg made pool history by being the 1st ever CO-losers of the pool not only will they receive cash money for their stupidity but will also share the most prized trophy in all of College Football Pools - the Pewter Jack Ass. But because nobody likes a tie the Commish has organized a pay per view special in which these 2 will fight to the death - the format is nude wrestling in a giant vat of butterscotch pudding with their only weapons being ninja throwing stars and the entrails of freshly slaughtered goats with the winner receiving the PJA for the next calendar year. Best of luck fellas.

The PJA

Also the following poolsters some how won a week and will receive the following sum. 

Terence Brown - $100

Bob Cook - $20

Eric Cooper - $14.28

Bruce Edmonston - $64.28

Craig Edmonston - $50

Laddie Fromelius - $150

Warren Heffelfinger - $20

Harrison Johnson - $100

Matt Kaysar #2 - $14.28

Dave Kent - $100

Rob Kilian - $100

Scott Kilian - $14.28

Ron Kunze - $14.28

Bill Lafave - $50

Paul Lage - $50

Jennifer Mayberry - $34.28

Pat McCauley - $50

Gary McMahon - $14.28

Pat Moeschler - $20

Paul Roberts - $20

Steve Smith $50

Todd Thrall - $100

Troy Winkles - $100

So from all our lucky money winners I need some information to send to the pool accounting department; Your mailing address to send your check (also let me know if you'd like $25 of your winnings to go towards the Bowl Pool)

        MET BO BEBOS ! 

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

Our Patron Saint

WEEK 14 RECAP

                        COMMISH NOTES: 

                    THE END IS NEAR !!!!
                    
The final week is upon us - our slow march of mediocrity will come to a close this weekend and we can then begin the quiet soul searching that comes with the end of every football season and we can answer questions like "Why am I a Sun Devil fan?", "Taking Georgia Tech and the points that's a no brainer right ?", and most importantly "Why do I play this F%#@ing pool every year ?!?!?"

But Remember before you completely sign out and hit the bottle hard be sure you sign up for the Bowl pool

I don't know about you but guessing the outcome of the Raycom Media Camellia Bowl

or the Cactus Bowl featuring the 6 and 6 Sun Devils and the cast of Deliverance

set to be played in the parking lot of a Walgreens in Ahwatukee will fill your holiday season with joy and wonderment !

Also this year there was a little extra in the pool budget and you all will be receiving this ribbon

Congratulations from the entire PAC12 Plus Pool staff !!!

YOU vs the POOL

WEEKLY WINNER

We had 2 winners this week both Bruce Edmonston and Steve Smith correctly guessed 15 games and will split the weekly $100 pot thus doubling their normal monthly earnings.

This is the greatest thing to happen to Bruce since RichRod decided to stay with his beloved Tucson Kitties this week and in his honor he plans to make a statue of the Rodster out of Salmon mousse in his front yard and feed the neighborhood feral cats.

Steve plans to use his $50 in winnings and distribute candy to this kids down out the Junior High in his sweet new van.

This should not send up any red flags at all. 

WEEKLY LOSER

We had a six way log jam for last place this week between the following Mensa members who each tallied 4 correct guesses....drum roll please for...Dave "Not in 1st anymore"Jackson, Robert "Shut up Klink" Crane, Jim "The Wheels have come off" Weiler, Jay "My wife is smarter" Geyer, Ernie "Sandbagger" Slaughter, and Pat "Wooly Bugger" McCauley who all have brought shame and misery to their family names.

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD

Dallas Davis currently has a 1 game lead going into the final week with a record of 161 and 114. As we have seen before the hardest lead to maintain in all of sports, even harder than the British Open, is winning the top spot in the most prestigious college football pool in the known universe for you see to win this pool will make you an immortal God who will be worshipped throughout all time, space, and dimensions !!!! Oh and you also get a check for a little over 2 grand.

There are a pair of dunderheads wallowing in the muck of lastplaceitude - Ernie Slaughter
 

and Angela Driscoll have selected to a truly horrible record of 119 and 156 a full 42 games behind the leader. This final week will determine whose name will be inscribed into the most honored and treasured trophy in all of sports - THE PEWTER JACK ASS !

THE PJA

PAST CHUMPS PENNING AND CLEMENTS

        MET BO BEBOS ! 

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish








             

Our Patron Saint

WEEK 12 RECAP

COMMISH NOTES: 
                      HAPPY DANCE

The Commish did this for 7 hours after ASU's victory

DEVILS WIN DEVILS WIN DEVILS WIN !!! Needless to say it was a glorious weekend of college football and all is right again in the universe as the good guys triumphed over the evil doers of the Old Pueblo !

On a sadder note Wilbur the Wildcat was arrested on a domestic violence charge after Wilberina (or whatever the Hell that thing is named) accused the Tucson mascot of going on a meth fueled rampage in their double-wide trailer after the Devils thumped the Kitties 52-37. Wilbur also allegedly downed 13 forties of Colt 45 and for some unknown reason promised to "kill that SOB Dick Tomey for what he did to my daughter!" YIKES !!

In more good news Ohio State lost as well.

YOU vs the POOL

WEEKLY WINNER

She's once, twice, three times a lady...this week's big winner is Lisa Lesley proving once again that when a sassy broad puts her mind to it she can accomplish anything. Lisa scored an impressive 16 win week but I think we can all agree it's time for you to get back into that kitchen and prepare a delicious Thanksgiving feast for the Lesley menfolk. Lisa says she plans to take her $100 in winnings and buy her man some new slippers and a pipe cause he deserves it.

WEEKLY LOSER

We had a cluster F of losers this week, in all there were 9 knuckleheads tied for last place with just 7 wins. I would have to write a novel length essay to go over their names and all their shortcomings so I will not even shame them here. If you would like to meet any of them in person they can all be found at their local Greyhound bus depot sleeping in the mens room. But there are 2 standouts that I feel I need to mention...

My old man Joe Watters is one of these 9 - he taught me everything I know about gambling and you all know how well that has gone.

The other loser of distinction is Steve Chabre and the only real reason to bring him up is that he is a UofA grad and any time I am able to point out what a loser somebody from Tucson is I will jump at the chance and did I mention Steve that ASU beat the Kitties this weekend...did I  ?

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD

Dave "Don't Judge Me Bitch" Jackson takes over the over all lead with a stellar record of 143 and 97 and don't worry bitch when you lose the lead and fall out of the money over the next 3 weeks we will all be judging you just fine !

Angela Driscoll continues to hold her vice like grip on last place with a pathetic 101 and 139 over all record...a full 42 games behind our leader. And again I can't really blame her having to deal with her "special" needs husband  Terence hanging around the house all day demanding his Cup 'O Noodles have more gummy bears or dealing with his night terrors brought on by images of Shirley Booth dancing in his head. Don't worry Angela the end is near.

THE PJA

        MET BO BEBOS ! 

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

Our Patron Saint