WEEK 9 RECAP

COMMISH NOTES 
Well the never ending world of Deja Vu ASU football continues. Once again the mighty Devils find a new way to lose at home with a last second field goal by the Bruins guaranteeing a trip to the Beef 'O Brady Bowl (in the stands) Until ASU wins again this image will remain my happy thought of ASU.

USC continues to disappoint being out coached in Tucson...Coach Kiffin looks as interested in keeping his job as he does in this telling picture.

And does anybody know of any job openings at your local Midas Muffler shop - cause I think the Arkansas coaching staff may be looking for work in the next month or 2.

And the Commish hates to admit it but the Irish look to be for real, I really only have 2 words to say - GO PITTSBURGH !

WEEKLY WINNERS 

Cam prefers his "Terlit" to have a view

We had a 3 way tie this week between a trio of geniuses who each tallied a semi impressive 14 wins.  Cam Brown in one of this biggest surprises of all time and splits the $100 pot this week - I'm not saying Cam is dumb but by contrast Kim Kardashian is one of the founding members of Mensa, Cam has also started an 8-Track cassette business that he promises will be "bigger than Enron !"

The Flaherty Boys Halloween 2008

Crawford Flaherty who actually has been having his 8 year old son make his picks every week is also a winner, hats off to Crawford for making one of his best parenting decisions since having Jr do the family taxes the last 6 years. CF III you have the Commish's permission to spend all $33.33 of your winnings on ice cream and candy and eat all of it in one sitting. Congrats to the pool's youngest ever winner !  

Zac Cottingham also will receive $33.33 in winnings. Zac tells me this is his biggest windfall since he "went out with his metal detector and found 3 oil filters, 8 tin cans, and a Huffy bike frame buried in the landfill and got 2 bucks and a RC Cola from the dude at the scrap metal place." Zac you are living the dream my friend !

WEEKLY LOSER Greg Russell who goes by the extra creative screen name of "Greg Russell" is this week's moron slapping just 4 wins over the net. Greg is part of another father son duo in the pool and sadly still lives at home in the crawl space over the garage and was told by Dad that until his pool scores improve there will be no more XBox after 8pm and only one bowl of Fruity Pebbles in the morning.









OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD 

Pete Thrasher takes the lead with 101 wins. Pete is just the latest of lucky poolsters, in the 9 weeks of the pool so far we have had about 15 different co-leaders. So Pete enjoy this week cause you'll be in 13th place after next week.




Todd Thrall remains the pool's captain of suckitude with yet one more week of miserable picks. I'm getting the feeling that Todd may be in the cellar for the long haul and should be prepping his double wide for the PJA Awards ceremony come December.

Week 10 Games should be posted later today as long as the Commish wakes up from his nap in time.

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

WEEK 8 RECAP

COMMISH NOTES 
Another week of football is in the books and that puts us at about the halfway point of this miserable experiment. I know from talking to many of you that you have completely given up and quite frankly I can't blame you. 

But to keep you going here are some interesting stats provided to me by Officefootballpool.com - 38% of you have a small child or household pet make your picks every week - 97% of you are legally intoxicated when you make your picks - 22% of you are disappointed each week when you log in and discover that this is not the Filipino Tranny webpage you bookmarked - and 100% swear you will never do this stupid pool again.

ASU had a great game against the Ducks but my DVR went out after the first 90 seconds so I can only assume things turned out OK for the Devils. So no updates please.

And you can't tell me SEC fans don't know how to have fun.

And the Commish has hired this guy to come visit each and every poolster before the season ends !

WEEKLY WINNER 

A poolster that claims to go by the name Warren Heffelfinger secured first place this week with 16 correct guesses, I'm told his cousin Mortimer Smellybottom helps with his picks every week. He plans to take his $100 in winnings and sue his ancestors for coming up with such a ridiculous last name.

WEEKLY LOSER Carl "Camerofund" Gebhardt is this week's pathetic loser with just 5 correct picks. Carl can be found most weekends cranking the "Nuge" from his garage while downing no less than 23 Natty Lights then showing up hungover the next morning at his job twirling a giant arrow pointing to some low rent condos before being told to go home because they fired him 6 months ago !



OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD 

Jim "Wheels" Weiler is now our over all leader with 91 victories and is also a former pool champion as well. If you haven't met "Wheels" just picture that creepy uncle the family never wants to talk about who wears corduroy OP shorts, has his cell phone in a holster and spends his days off taking pictures of the Junior High cheer leading squad all the while imitating Borat.

Todd "Thunder Chicken" Thrall Is in dead last with just 66 correct guesses. It's not very surprising that Todd sits at the bottom of the barrel, he spends most of his free time writing erotic fan fiction based on the cast of the Facts of Life. One of his favorites involves Mindy Cohn and a vat of nacho cheese sauce or another in which Mrs Garrett, Todd, and a Globus monkey named Sparkles are caught in a rather compromising position in a glass elevator.

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

Week 7 Recap

Commish Notes - The commish's usual insights to the weekends college football games is a tad limited this week. After ASU completely demolished the CU Buffs on Thursday 

the commish went on an epic bender 

and is a little bit hazy on the goings on in CFB - the last thing I remember is Lou Holtz giving the "Fork 'em Devils" sign on ESPN post game 

which only increased my alcohol consumption and then I passed out not waking up til sometime Monday afternoon. 

Weekly Winners - 

We had a very unsatisfying 4 way tie for first place this week between rot gut tequila baron Todd Nelson, one time ultimate loser champion and PJA winner Rylan Weythman, Master of the pan flute Bradley Fisher, and former "1983 Miss Petroleum Jelly" Deborah Jackson. Each will receive $25 for their efforts which will quadruple their yearly income of 2011. 

Weekly Losers We had an equally pathetic 6 way tie for last place this week between Ben Barton, Brandon Carlson, Todd Thrall, Billy Schauerman, Dan Palka, and Eric Huyhn. 

None of these losers deserve the ridicule and abuse by the commish. Their shame speaks for it self - you can all live with the satisfaction knowing that you are better than all of them !

Over All Leader and Lunkhead - 

Daron "Sons of Sandusky" Sanders takes over as the over all leader of the pool with 81 total wins. Daron is currently holding a nightly candlelight vigil at his local Chuck E Cheese until they release his hero Jerry Sandusky. 

Clayton Oldham remains our over all loser and seems to be a sure lock for America's most esteemed trophy the illustrious Pewter Jack Ass. You can currently find Clayton living in his 1974 AMC Matador in the parking lot of a tolerant "99 Cent Only" store. 

Good luck Suckas









The commish



This week's recap is dedicated to Beano Cook who is now in heaven polishing Ron Powlus's 2 Heisman trophies.

WEEK 6 RECAP

COMMISH NOTES: It was quite the weekend as several teams in the top 10 went down in flames. Our NC State friend above, who just finished 2 gross of Krispey Kremes at the tailgate, celebrates the Wolfpack's last second victory over the Seminoles. 

Georgia got completely worked by the Gamecocks. 

And in the game the Commish attended the Bayou Bengals managed just 6 points against the Gators. It was quite the weekend in Gainesville, on the way to the game we got plowed into by one of the stars of "Swamp People" which put a damper on the festivities 

 but we did manage to meet some lovely people like this year's  Florida Homecoming Queen. 

There also seemed to be a lot of "sleepy" people at the game - this guy for example was in this position for the ENTIRE GAME ! 

But all in all I highly recommend Gainesville if you enjoy humidity, fried foods, Molly Hatchet, and Mullets.

Also we tried to do an "Over - Under" bet on how many Jorts we'd see - but I lost track 2.5 million !

Also if you're waiting for the final score of the Ohio State Nebraska game it might be a while - the Buckeyes just ran for another TD on the vaunted "Blackskirt" defense.

















And get ready Boulder the Mighty Devils are coming to town !











WEEKLY WINNERS

This week's winner is the husband and wife team of Kent and Demaris Walton who despite not knowing what day it is let alone that football is a sport not played by robots correctly guessed 15 games. What is even more remarkable is that they met  while attending Millard Filmore's Inaugural Ball and took the first "Lighter than Airship" from Coney Island to the opening of Fenway Park. If you'd like them to yell "Get off our Lawn" come visit them anytime in Oregon when they're not napping - that is never.

WEEKLY LOSER 

Steve Delira is the "King of All Things That Suck" this week managing to wake up from his cough syrup and Goo-B-Gone coma inducing Cocktail to pitifully guess just 4 games correctly. Steve you are ordered by the Commish to continuously slap your self through the end of games next Saturday.








OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD

We have a 3 way tie for 1st over all now between Jim "Wheels" Weiler, Lisa "I Married Old #2" Fowles, and Daron "Sons of Sandusky" Sanders each with 68 wins. This lead will not last for many reasons A)Wheels is from Minnesota and they're good at nothing B) Lisa is a woman and needs to be cooking and cleaning for her husband and not watching football and C) Anybody whose screen name is Sons of Sandusky deserves very bad things to happen to them !

and sitting in the dung heap of the pool in dead last is Clayton Oldham with a miserable over all tally of just 48 wins. Clayton as your punishment, and as a Jayhawks fan, you must head over to coach Charlie Weis' house and give him a sponge bath of tapioca pudding.

And is anybody more excited than the Commish about this huge match up in the pool this week between these 2 powerhouse football programs?

As Always - Good Luck Suckas

the Commish