Bowl Pool Recap & Payouts

First of all to those of you that say nothing good has ever come from any of these God damn pools let me correct you...this year due to the fact we had a 22 way tie for 1st place in a week and I didn't want to send 22 checks for $2.19 to all of them and several poolsters said just donate my winnings to charity we were able to make a donation to the Salvation Army for $159.32...so maybe not a life changer but better than nothing !

The Pool Donation Ceremony brought tears to all in attendance.

Proof of Payment

Another glorious year of Bowl games is in the books and over all I'll give this year a C-, lots of awful big game blowouts sprinkled with a few thrillers. Of the 41 games I think the Commish watched about 37 of them all the while enjoying my favorite Christmas gift "The Malt Liquors of the World Sampler Pack"

which was definitely needed after watching the hapless Devils in the Motel 6 Cactus Bowl (not a made up bowl game BTW)

The one game that did live up to the hype was the Natty, although they didn't cover, it's a no brainer to bet on Bama straight up when it's all on the line...an onside kick in the 4th all tied up ? Just giant huevos Señor Saban !

Miss Onside Alabama 2016

Bowl Pool Payouts

Here's how the payouts worked this year...we had 83 paying bowl poolsters (sadly we had 4 deadbeats whose names will be stricken from the roster for all eternity) which gave us a kitty of $2075 which we then needed to subtract the $86 web hosting fee which left us $1989 in total payouts. So without further adieu here are this year's lucky winners.

In 1st place Stef Ewing who netted the glorious amount of $982. Stef plans to use the winnings to tint the windows of her '73 Pacer so she can better stalk all of her 64 imaginary boyfriends.

We had a 2 way tie for 2nd place - but with the Championship game tie breaker total points results - Erik Turner lands the 2nd place prize of $589.20. Erik plans to use the money to take his dream vacation to Branson, Missouri and see The Yakov Smirnoff show 300 consecutive times.

And In 3st place was Stacey Pawlak with $392.80 in winnings. She plans to buy 11 more cats to add to the 23 others she owns in her studio apartment...this time she says "the SPCA will only take my kitties away from me from my cold dead hands"

And in dead last - who will get his $25 entry fee back - is Bowl Pool dummy Pete Thrasher. Pete plans to buy a jug of Everclear and cry himself to sleep for the thousandth consecutive night.

If you were one of the 4 money winners please send me your mailing address asap so I can send you your checks and I can wash my hands of this filthy pool once and for all.

So until next season, if there is a next season, Good Luck Suckas !

the Commish

Week 15 RECAP and Final Payouts

COMMISH NOTES: 

Our yearly soul crushing exercise of futility and guessing has finally and mercifully come to an end. What did we learn ? Not much really other than that a select few of us absolutely suck at picking the outcome of college football games, and that the bookies who pick the point spreads are evil geniuses in a pact with Satan, or that many of us may have a serious drinking problem. That being said I can't wait for the first of 47 bowl games to start on Saturday. So if you are a glutton for punishment sign up for the Pac12 Plus Bowl Pool - just click this link and you're in  http://www.officefootballpool.com/pools.cfm?poolid=54177&p=2&pwd=sundevils

Also again you are all so welcome it was my pleasure to include Sam Houston State in the selections for the last week of the pool !

YOU vs the POOL

WEEKLY WINNERS

This week with just the 3 games to choose from we had a total of 46 weekly winners, which sadly for many of you counts as your greatest achievement ever ! So instead of sending each of you an enormous check for $2.17 the commish will donate the weekly $100 to my local Salvation Army Christmas donation pot. I know there are a few cynical bastards in our pool, like the mean hearted AZHUSKER, who think the Commish will pocket the $100 and spend it on malt liquor or something else delicious - well I can assure you if I don't donate the $100 may the ASU Sun Devils be relegated to some awful bowl game like the Cactus Bowl, oh wait that's already happened...

WEEKLY LOSER

And because of said 3 game selection we had 21 poolsters that scored a big ZERO for the week but I'm sure this group didn't need the pool to remind them what a bunch of losers they were.

POOL PAYOUTS AND PJA WINNERS

Drum roll please...here's how the yearly payouts worked out...these lucky bastards will be getting an early Christmas present.

1st place Dallas Drake - $2024.75 + $50 = $2074.75
Dallas plans to spend his winnings on a tanning bed and then display his "hotbod" to all the GILF's down at the retirement village.

2nd place Dave Jackson - $1446.25
Dave plans to spend his winnings on a cross country trek with his miniature pony "Pudgy" and teach children the true meaning of Christmas.

3rd place Lisa Lesley - $1157 + $100 = $1257
Lisa plans to spend all of her winnings on one word FUDGE !

4th place Dean Jackson - $694.20
Dean plans to spend his winnings and take his mustache on a romantic vacation to Sandals in Jamaica.

Last place Ernie Slaughter and Mark Hodgson - $231.40 each
Ernie and Hodg made pool history by being the 1st ever CO-losers of the pool not only will they receive cash money for their stupidity but will also share the most prized trophy in all of College Football Pools - the Pewter Jack Ass. But because nobody likes a tie the Commish has organized a pay per view special in which these 2 will fight to the death - the format is nude wrestling in a giant vat of butterscotch pudding with their only weapons being ninja throwing stars and the entrails of freshly slaughtered goats with the winner receiving the PJA for the next calendar year. Best of luck fellas.

The PJA

Also the following poolsters some how won a week and will receive the following sum. 

Terence Brown - $100

Bob Cook - $20

Eric Cooper - $14.28

Bruce Edmonston - $64.28

Craig Edmonston - $50

Laddie Fromelius - $150

Warren Heffelfinger - $20

Harrison Johnson - $100

Matt Kaysar #2 - $14.28

Dave Kent - $100

Rob Kilian - $100

Scott Kilian - $14.28

Ron Kunze - $14.28

Bill Lafave - $50

Paul Lage - $50

Jennifer Mayberry - $34.28

Pat McCauley - $50

Gary McMahon - $14.28

Pat Moeschler - $20

Paul Roberts - $20

Steve Smith $50

Todd Thrall - $100

Troy Winkles - $100

So from all our lucky money winners I need some information to send to the pool accounting department; Your mailing address to send your check (also let me know if you'd like $25 of your winnings to go towards the Bowl Pool)

        MET BO BEBOS ! 

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish

Our Patron Saint

WEEK 14 RECAP

                        COMMISH NOTES: 

                    THE END IS NEAR !!!!
                    
The final week is upon us - our slow march of mediocrity will come to a close this weekend and we can then begin the quiet soul searching that comes with the end of every football season and we can answer questions like "Why am I a Sun Devil fan?", "Taking Georgia Tech and the points that's a no brainer right ?", and most importantly "Why do I play this F%#@ing pool every year ?!?!?"

But Remember before you completely sign out and hit the bottle hard be sure you sign up for the Bowl pool

I don't know about you but guessing the outcome of the Raycom Media Camellia Bowl

or the Cactus Bowl featuring the 6 and 6 Sun Devils and the cast of Deliverance

set to be played in the parking lot of a Walgreens in Ahwatukee will fill your holiday season with joy and wonderment !

Also this year there was a little extra in the pool budget and you all will be receiving this ribbon

Congratulations from the entire PAC12 Plus Pool staff !!!

YOU vs the POOL

WEEKLY WINNER

We had 2 winners this week both Bruce Edmonston and Steve Smith correctly guessed 15 games and will split the weekly $100 pot thus doubling their normal monthly earnings.

This is the greatest thing to happen to Bruce since RichRod decided to stay with his beloved Tucson Kitties this week and in his honor he plans to make a statue of the Rodster out of Salmon mousse in his front yard and feed the neighborhood feral cats.

Steve plans to use his $50 in winnings and distribute candy to this kids down out the Junior High in his sweet new van.

This should not send up any red flags at all. 

WEEKLY LOSER

We had a six way log jam for last place this week between the following Mensa members who each tallied 4 correct guesses....drum roll please for...Dave "Not in 1st anymore"Jackson, Robert "Shut up Klink" Crane, Jim "The Wheels have come off" Weiler, Jay "My wife is smarter" Geyer, Ernie "Sandbagger" Slaughter, and Pat "Wooly Bugger" McCauley who all have brought shame and misery to their family names.

OVER ALL LEADER AND LUNKHEAD

Dallas Davis currently has a 1 game lead going into the final week with a record of 161 and 114. As we have seen before the hardest lead to maintain in all of sports, even harder than the British Open, is winning the top spot in the most prestigious college football pool in the known universe for you see to win this pool will make you an immortal God who will be worshipped throughout all time, space, and dimensions !!!! Oh and you also get a check for a little over 2 grand.

There are a pair of dunderheads wallowing in the muck of lastplaceitude - Ernie Slaughter
 

and Angela Driscoll have selected to a truly horrible record of 119 and 156 a full 42 games behind the leader. This final week will determine whose name will be inscribed into the most honored and treasured trophy in all of sports - THE PEWTER JACK ASS !

THE PJA

PAST CHUMPS PENNING AND CLEMENTS

        MET BO BEBOS ! 

Good Luck Suckas - the Commish








             

Our Patron Saint