LET THE GUESSING BEGIN !
Welcome to our Newbies - the Commish was once again able to scour area Renaissance Fairs, Craigslist personal pages, and rural de-lousing stations to find these 32 new suckers for the pool - so please put your hands together and send these new "Guesstronauts" a muffin basket at your earliest convenience.
Stef Ewing loves water dwelling rodents and is a frequent contributor to Cat Fancy magazine.
Dave Ragland is currently exploring the world and by exploring I mean he lives in a box down by the river.
Orlando Colamatteo would like to sell you some home made mayonnaise - BADLY !
Dallas Davis is blasting Foghat from his sweet 72 Camaro in front of a Circle K somewhere right now.
Mike Griffin is a returning poolster, he took a year off for gender reassignment surgery, and as you can see from his picture it went terribly wrong !
Larry Pulaski is a lover of all things corn related, in fact at this moment he is sitting in a vat of creamed corn in his front yard.
Dan Karas thinks his postman is a time traveller sent to this world to steal his Thrifty Nickel coupon books.
Danny Wood has some serious dance moves, just ask him about it, go ahead I dare ya.
Kristen Price is asked to leave bars and restaurants at least 6 times a week.
Dan Clements Jr seen here with his Dad Dan Sr, his old man is a past winner of the PJA trophy so I'm sure they have similar brain power which is good for all of us.
Dave Bowser is a returning poolster - he just wants to confirm to himself and the world how badly he sucks at making picks.
Bill Fowles Sr joins the pool, he's the fella responsible for bringing "Ole #2" Billy Fowles into the world, in a father like son move, Sr was a tackling dummy for Red Grange back in the day.
Chase Vendi is another lover of all things corn. He's currently dancing in an all male review called "Cobs of Thunder" at a truck stop just outside Lincoln.
Dan Magill is yet another returning poolster. His therapist told him the pool was the least degrading thing in his life, so you can see how well it's going for old Dan.
Stefan Larese, as a native of Idaho, is scared of indoor plumbing and has 14 relatives named Cletus.
Brian Gladstone is the last surviving graduate of Tempe Normal School. Go Owls !
Barry Harcus was born in Calgary, Canada and thinks this is a Curling pool.
Craig Edmonston is a native of Bakersfield. That's it, that's the joke.
Steven Schwartz and Mark Sanchez are both Maryland Terp fans which means they're both angry and used to losing, which makes them a perfect fit for the pool.
Chuck Novak as an Illini fan is very accustomed to finishing at the bottom of the standings so his experience in the pool will have a familiar feel.
Patrick Morrissey as a Northwestern grad may be too smart for the pool or perhaps the pool is too dumb for him, time will tell.
Brad Ross misses Larry Marmie everyday of his life.
Mike Dow as a Wisconsin Badger has a very unhealthy love of cheese.
David Schwartz Is having seconds thoughts about his "Free Jerry Sandusky" face tattoo.
And some very late adds to the pool - Bill Fulton, Pat Moescler, Wade Macklem, Dawn Ross, and Adrian Cushman are all members of a "Death Metal Polka" band called Napalm Bratwūrst. They'll be playing at an Elks lodge near you very soon.
RIP
POOL RULES AND PAYOUTS
The rules are exactly the same as the last 8 years, we keep them simple for our Cornhusker fans, each week you pick 20 games against the spread. You can change your picks as often as you like up until the kick off of any given game. Most weeks all the games are on Saturday, but if there's a week where there are earlier games the Commish will let you know . Also be sure to set your AUTO-PICKS so in case you miss a week of picking due to jail time you won't miss out.
Pool Payouts: The Payouts for the pool at the end of the season are as follows: If all 137 poolsters pay up that will leave us with $6850 in prize money.
The pool money collected will be distributed at season’s end. There will be a TBD deduction from the total entry fees of the “pool hosting fee” set by officefootballpool.com. Last season the fee was $30 plus $3 for every pool member over 10. The remaining pool money will be distributed as follows:
Weekly Winner: Each week the poolster with the most correct picks will win $100 (If there is a tie between 2 or more poolsters in any week the $100 will be divided amongst those winners)
The remaining Pool money, and all winnings, will be divided as follows at the END of the season.
The pool money collected will be distributed at season’s end. There will be a TBD deduction from the total entry fees of the “pool hosting fee” set by officefootballpool.com. Last season the fee was $30 plus $3 for every pool member over 10. The remaining pool money will be distributed as follows:
Weekly Winner: Each week the poolster with the most correct picks will win $100 (If there is a tie between 2 or more poolsters in any week the $100 will be divided amongst those winners)
The remaining Pool money, and all winnings, will be divided as follows at the END of the season.
1st place……35%
2nd place……25%
3rd place……20%
4th place……12%
Last place……8%
The over all loser also receives the prestigious Pewter Jack Ass Trophy. (You cannot miss a week of picks and still receive this honored prize) 
POOL PAYMENTS
This is by far the Commish's least favorite thing about the pool - getting everybody to pay up and in a timely manner. The $50 payment deadline is by Friday September 13th. That gives everybody a full 14 days, or for those not good at math, 2 weeks to get your payment in. After that you are put on the bench and there's a $50 re-entry fee due before you can continue making picks. So as you're reading this - STOP - go get your checkbook and write a $50 check to:
Kevin "the Commish" Watters
2470 South Jackson Street
Denver CO, 80210
And remember trash talk, abuse, and mud slinging towards fellow poolsters and their favorite teams is highly encouraged. Just go to the main pool page under the "SETTINGS" tab and hit "Trash Talk" and fire away. (You can also write kind things about the Commish there as well)
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Good Luck Suckas - the Commish
